Journal of a Warmachinist, 17th Entry

Warmachine Philippines Impromptu Christmas Party at Mang's Pitshop!

Kim, Emp, Fred, Obi (plus his kid brother), Mang (kahit tinatrangkaso) and Arvin! Pizza Hut and Pepsi all around! "Pwede ba ipadeliver naten?" LOL!

Game 1: Kim's Khador (Sorscha) vs. Emp's Cryx (Skarre) - Scenario: Foothold (Khador wins!)
Emp gambled to advance Skarre and Skarrebomb Sorscha, but missed by several inches!

Game 2: Emp's Cryx (Skarre) vs. Fred's Cryx (Deneghra) - Scenario: ? (Emp's Cryx wins!)
I didn't get to see this one because I was gaming against Obi. Although I did hear Emp's joyous cries, "ANLAKAS NI SKARRE!" I guess Emp won that one.

Game 3: Obi's Cygnar (Nemo) vs. Kim's Khador (Sorscha) - Scenario: Foothold (Khador wins!)
Obi's first game, I think. After an eye-opening shock (literally) from his Stormblades, I maneuvered Sorscha for a whoosh, delivered a damage-boosted Hand Cannon shot and a damage-boosted Razor Wind against an Icy Gazed Nemo.

Game 4: Obi's Cygnar (Nemo) vs. Kim's Khador (Sorscha) - The Rematch, Scenario: Pendulum (Khador wins!)
Obi tried to split my forces, using the clumpy terrain to his advantage. After a barrage of spells that made my Kodiak useless, I came in again with the same whoosh from the last game.

Game 5: Emp's Cryx (Witch Coven of Garlghast) vs. Obi's Cygnar (Nemo) - Scenario: Pendulum (Unresolved, probably a draw)
It was getting late, and we had to pack up. The game could have gone either way.

+++

Personal Ranking

Games played: 7
Wins: 7
Losses: 0
Draws: 0

Opponents:
VS Cryx: W4 L0 D0
VS Khador: W0 L0 D0
VS Cygnar: W2 L0 D0
VS Menoth: W0 L0 D0
VS Mercenaries: W1 L0 D0

Armies played:
Khador: W6 L0 D0
Mercenaries: W1 L0 D0
Cryx: W0 L0 D0
Cygnar: W0 L0 D0
Menoth: W0 L0 D0

PAGE 5

P R I M E

Warning: Not suitable for wussies!

Sissies. Little girls. Nancy boys... go home. This game is not for you.

If you cry when you lose, get lost -- you're going to lose. If it hurts your fragile sensibilities to see your favorite character get pounded unmercifully by a rapid succession of no-holds-barred iron fury, you'd better look the other way. If you've ever whined the words, "That's too powerful," then put the book down slowly and walk away before making eye contact with anyone or they'll realize your voice hasn't changed yet.

This game is about aggression. This is the game of metal-on-metal combat. This is fuel-injected power hopped up on steroids. This is WARMACHINE -- the battles game that kicks so much ass we have to use all capital letters.

We didn't set out to reinvent the wheel with this game -- we just armor plated it, covered it in spikes, and rolled it over your grandma's house.

WARMACHINE is simple. It's easy to learn, has no reference charts, no heavy arithmetic, and doesn't require constant trips to the rulebook. At the same time, WARMACHINE possesses deep strategy. The ability to unlock combinations of abilities and spells and maneuvers is practically limitless. For every perfect strategy, there is a foil. For every immovable object, there is an unstoppable force. Just when you think you've got it all worked out, you'll be blindsided by something you never saw before. The more you dig, the more you'll find.

WARMACHINE favors the aggressor. You've got to throw the first punch if you want to land on top! Too many games set players up to be timid. Games drag out with little action because the game favors defensive strategies. Players park their soldiers behind walls like old ladies hiding from a loud noise.

Not in WARMACHINE! If you want your opponent to come to you, you're going to get steamrolled. You've got to have balls to play this game! You've got to charge your opponent and hang it all out there! You've got to break his formations. You've got to be relentless with your onslaught. You have to go for the jugular and latch on like a rabid dog that hasn't eaten in days. Anything less and you'll be hamburger.

You're playing with power now. Don't be afraid! Few things are more satisfying than slamming your opponent's warjack into a unit of soldiers and watching them fall like bowling pins! (We call this jack bowling.) Try picking up an enemy warcaster (with a warjack, of course) and throwing it across the battlefield! It's almost more fun than you should be allowed to have with miniatures game.

The miniatures of WARMACHINE deliver on every level that the game does. These warjacks radiate power! We're pouring so much metal into these things that at our current rate, we'll deplete the world of pewter by 2006. And these things were made for modeling. The incredible detail and expert sculpting will create one of the most enjoyable painting experiences you've ever had.

This is a new era in tabletop miniatures wargaming. This is a game made for you, by people like you. It's not a load of sterilized mass market drek designed by a room of corporate meatplow. This is raw. This is brutal. This is WARMACHINE.

So play like you've got a pair, or put down the metal and go find something made of plastic.

+++

E S C A L A T I O N

It started as a manifesto of our disposition -- the philosophy with which we created WARMCHINE. We never expected it to be the pavement of our common ground, the doctrine of a movement of players, or the center of controversy and a source of unlimited debate. Love it or hate it, though, you can't avoid it.

Is it about sexism? An anatomy lesson for the testicularly impaired?

No.

Page 5 is about honesty. It's a self awareness of what we're doing, why we're doing it, and who we're doing it for. It's a declaration of our stance, the 10-40 on our attitude. It's about the kind of people we are and the kind of people we want to face across the table.

We pour blood and sweat into this game, into the stories, into the art and into the metal. We want to see WARMACHINE experienced the way we intended it.

Escalation takes it to the next level and we're piling it on heavy. We've spent a year hammering away at this gallery of ass kickers and ensuring that everything you see is as borken as you expect it, but nothing here stands alone. Escalation raises the bar, but it stands on the shoulders of the nine-ton giants who came before it.

This is the triple shot in your 8AM espresso. This is the nitrous injection in your 426 Hemi. This is the depleted uranium tip on your armor-piercing round. We threw out anything that slowed down the fight. This is the final cut -- pure grain, grade A, distilled aggression.

You're going to need a hernia belt to lift these new warjacks. They're bigger, badder and pissed off. They don't fill the cracks in your armies; they work your opponent over like a school girl who wandered into a back-alley cage match. We've given you the warcasters to lead them too -- professional name-takers specifically designed to kick your foe in the nuts and bolts while a procession of solos, troops and blazing field artillery run through his back-entrance like a freight train on a mission from God.

Still, the new models are only half of the pants-soiling experience found within these pages. The Escalation campaign pitches you headlong into a conflict between four nations that will leave no on unscarred or uncharred. If you like pina coladas, getting caught in the rain, show tunes, romantic comedies and happy endings, then you're crying into the wrong Kleenex, pink boy. This is a story about war. It's 87 pages of mud-slogging, blood-drenching, mind-blowing brutality. We've given you the lenses to see the Iron Kingdoms through our eyes. Better wear a helmet.

Page 5 was only a page number on a freshly printed book a year ago. Now it's the creed for a new era in wargaming, the banner for players looking for a challenge, and the battle cry for a game with serious stones.

You just hefted two scoops of whoop-ass for your Wheaties, Waldo. Remember to lift at the knees. We've given you a year to master the basics, and it's time to do your business or get off the pot.

And now that we're all on the same page --

Play like you've got a pair.

+++

A P O T H E O S I S

Remember that school girl from the back-alley cage match? Well she's all grown up now and that feeling between your legs is her yanking you tidy-whities up over your head for the holy mother of all atomic wedgies. Scream if you want to. It only makes her want to hurt you more -- just like your opponent across the table.

Welcome to the top. This is the pinnacle of power. It doesn't get any bigger than this, folks, or we run the risk of throwing the planet out of alignment. We've pushed the envelope of game and model design and taken it to the limit of human endurance. Don't look down; we're a long way from where we started.

WARMACHINE: Apotheosis will challenge your strategic and tactical muscles like never before. Contained within are multitudinous combinations of warcaster abilities waiting to be unlocked. Each on is capable of unleashing nothing less than a severe beating about the head and shoulders of your hapless adversary. Don't hold back; he wouldn't want you to. We all know we're here because we believe the next best thing to delivering a complete and thorough ass punishing is going down in a white-hot blaze of agonizing glory. This is pure power in your hands and a free license to abuse it.

The Apotheosis models are off the scale. We crammed so much detail and complexity into these mountains of metal that you're going to want to quit your day job in order to tackle them. This is no slag fest in pretty packaging meant to con you out of your hard-earned coin. These are expert works of art made with the highest standards for the most discriminating modeler. In every way, they have captured the essence of the characters they depict and radiate all the raw, relentless aggression each one embodies. Even before your opponent knows what you're packing, the mere sight of these brutal sculpts will send him running madly for his mommy's skirt.

This is the blue box, people. Time to put up or shut up. Apotheosis will rock the foundation of the world you thought you knew and understood. It's a vicious reminder that around every corner is something more merciless than what you could ever imagine. In every dark alley is a ruthless bastard waiting to carve another notch in his bat with your face. And across every table, in his unassuming faded black t-shirt, is a cold-hearted killer mentally tearing you limb from limb. Good thing you came in heavy -- now kick him right between the femurs...

... AND PLAY LIKE YOU'VE GOT A PAIR.

+++

H O R D E S P R I M A L - A N I M A L S T Y L E

For those who have experienced Privateer's games before, what follows will feel like a warm and cozy familiar blanket. For the uninitiated, this is the moment where we open up your bloodshot and beady little eyes to the cold, hard reality of the truth -- the truth that what you hold in your hands is nothing like you have never seen. This is going to change how you play games, and the difficult truth is that right now, most likely, you can't handle it.

But don't despair, there's a legion of die-hard, stone-cold, tabletop killers waiting to beat your ass until you can.

At Privateer Press, we inject our games with a special blend of testosterone-laden aggression and grade-A, cold filtered reality. We treat the tabletop like the battleground it is -- a place to prove your might is right. We don't suffer whiners, sissies, momma's boys, daddy's little princesses, or punk-mouthed pukes with more excuses than moves. We come for the beat down -- deliver it with gusto or take it like a trooper. There is glory in both as long as you got the rocks.

Don't be deceived. HORDES is simple on the surface. You roll some dice, you add some numbers, and you mark some dots on the cards. It's the deep strategy that is going to turn your brain into a pretzel. Whether you're a seasoned veteran of tabletop conquest or some doe-eyed rookie who accidentally wandered into this den of ruthless vipers, the mental gymnastics you're going to have to master are not going to come without some severe bruising along the way. Keep your head and hands inside the window, face forward, and pay attention because you only get to hear this for the first time once, and if you don't get it then, you're going to look like 200 lbs. of ground beef praying for the sweet release of death.

Punch first, hit hard, show no mercy, and expect none in return.

The beasts we've bred for HORDES are fury-fueled monsters, and the only way to handle them is with the same disregard they have for each other. HORDES is powered by unchecked brutality. It's not survival of the fittest, meathead. It's survival of the most badass, and the winner takes all. If you can't hand with the animals, you best get out of the jungle now before something mistakes you for a snack.

Privateer Press is building upon a tradition of untarnished honesty, unwavering respect, and unrelenting gratitude for the people who play our games, blazing away a new era where quality of game, experience, and inspiration are worth the hard earned coin you just traded. We freed the shackles of corporate mediocrity and have charged ourselves with delivering unto you only the most visceral episodes you can encounter in adventure gaming. We throw our blood, sweat and souls into these creations, and we back it up with a simple creed.

This is primal. This is savage. This is HORDES.

PLAY LIKE YOU'VE GOT A PAIR!

+++

+++ On being "First"

I've seen this in Warhammer and evidently, it's also in Warmachine, too ~ people clamoring and bragging about being the first: first to find out about the rules on new models/armies, first to make an army list of said new stuff, first to get the rulebooks, first to get the model. A lot more "firsts"... I guess some people get the "I'm-more-superior-than-you-because-I-got-to-it-first-than-you" kick more than everyone else. And no, I don't see that in WMPH. I just see it everywhere else.

Frankly, I don't give a flying fuck who got to what piece of shit first. It never fails to strike a nerve how people go brag about it. Most of the time I can ignore it, but I guess I'm in the mood to rant (it's probably those 711 peanuts).

I don't care if you thought of this-that combo first, because I'll still beat your sorryass army.

And if on the chance you beat me, might as well get ready for another fight because I'm just gonna get up again and have a go at dishing out more punishment as well.

I don't care if you "bought" the model first, because I know I can always paint it better than you.

And if you paint better than me now, might as well try and chop my hands off because I'm aiming to be better than you.

Learn some humility, foo'.

Because snotty blowhard braggarts are the ones I have no regret of humiliating utterly. Or beating up outside.

Take your best shot.

Journal of a Warmachinist, 15th Entry

I just got a hefty acquisition of Khador additions today. Barring any lists or what have you, my single warcaster (Sorscha) can head off into battle at 769 points! And Gorman and the Widowmakers should still come soon!

Next time, I'll be getting those Khador tokens, too. ^_^ Maybe next payday. Then bag Irusk and Vlad as well.

+++

Journal of a Warmachinist, 16th Entry

Game 1: Kim's Khador vs. Emp's Cryx

Emp played his warjacks defensively behind the hill, away from my Bombards. After much outmaneuvering, I got Sorscha to pop her Icy Gaze feat, freezing Deneghra and a big lot of his army. That and I had Eiryss and my Manhunter very much in assassination range. All Deneghra could have done is cast some spell, but my trio was too close already. The following Khador turn, I would have Sorscha boost up a Freezing Wind making the Cryx warcaster stationary again, then have Eiryss and the Manhunter charge (bayonet charge in the case of Eiryss) at her.

Emp conceded and Khador was at a good start.

Game 2: Kim's Khador vs. Pork's Magnus Mercenaries

Playing at a different table, I got to set my forces up behind a big hill, all the while everyone was jeering me about Page Five LOL! I would have brainlessly blundered forward, but I was wary of that Obliterator Cannon he carried. On Pork's second turn, everyone was out in the open, and Magnus wasn't even screened. I generously provided my Behemoth some focus on his Bombard subcortex and proceeded to pummel the mercenary warcaster. AFter two strong hits, Magnus was still alive! But my WG Mortar were already perched on top of the hill after my first turn. Taking his third Bombard (this time POW 16 pa!), Magnus fell, and his five warjacks went inert.

Second turn kill. Not bad against someone who's been playing a lot more Warmachine than I have. And Lito was there. Pork never heard the end of that one LOL!

Game 3: Khador (Ace) and Magnus Mercenaries (Kim) vs. Cryx (Joel and Fred) -- "The first ever Warmachine multiplayer game ever played in the Philippines"

Honestly, I wanted to lose the game so badly. To be brutally honest, I was pissed when Ace mishandled my Eiryss. After the countless "ingatan mo yan ha" and "pag nasira yan, bilhan mo ako ng bago", he perched the Eiryss model on top of a two-level terrain, probably because he emulated by deployment during Game 2. When Eiryss fell and her arm broke off, I wanted to hit him. Then Eiryss fell a second time. I wanted to hit him even more. Call me mean, but I spent a lot of time and effort onto THAT model! And here's this guy that I just met a while ago, wanting to borrow my models. And he let my preciously-painted model fall! That's just so fuckin' against the goddamn Ten Commandments!

So there I was. Pissed as hell. Playing with the dude that nearly ruined my day. So I just Page Five'd it and had Magnus and his troops charge forward. I did get to use the Obliterator. Very nice. In some unforeseen circumstance, I had a Nomad engage a bonejack at one point in the game but having very high DEF, the small critter came out unscathed. After several turns, I had Magnus and another warjack hit by some Cryx spell and knocked down courtesy of Fred. He even left the table to park his car right after that move. I mean, what else could I do after that, right?

But I did manage to pull off something. The engaged Nomad was still in Magnus control area, and Fred's Deneghra was close enough to be engaged by that Nomad. Receiving three focus from Magnus, the Nomad ignored the bonejack it was engaged with (got damaged in the process), and advanced to the Cryx warcaster. The boosted onslaught put Deneghra to the ground.

Joel conceded after. Facing two opponents will not turn out to be a fun game (more like facing me with two armies). Fred came back. "What happened?" "Your Deneghra was killed by a Nomad." "HOW?"

Game 4: Kim's Khador vs. Joel's Cryx

This one was an eye-opener for me. I may have Jacob's Escalation but I never read on Goreshade. I know he can summon Bane Thralls and do a teleport thing with his units. But I didn't know he has buffs like avoiding being targeted by spells or ranged weapons, or a large area spell which prohibits enemy feats and spells!

He managed to charge at my Behemoth with his Bane Thralls, doing some heavy damage. Seeing how pointless it would be to whack away at the Bane Thralls surrounding it, I made the Behemoth trample towards another unit of Bane Thralls, hoping to get into melee range with Goreshade (which I missed by a half inch!). The Behemoth fell under a barrage of weapon master fury!

Joel managed to charge at Sorscha with some Bane Thralls, reducing her to 4. But I managed to bring her back up after careful dissection of Joel's army. Primarily I was just lucky. The Kodiak would not have been able to Vent Steam if it was totaled by the Bane Thralls that charged it (good thing I ended it's move in some difficult terrain). The Vent took out three of those nasty bastards! Eiryss came into the same woods and cleaned up the last Bane Thrall.

So technically, we didn't have a set objective. So he pushed for just keeping Goreshade alive, moving him as far from my models as he can. I flanked out Eiryss, the Kovnik and the Kodiak with Sorscha bringing up the center. On the turn that Joel gave up his anti-feat spell, I came in with Sorscha and held him with Icy Gaze. The rest is history.

+++

And since this is my FIRST ever OFFICIAL Warmachine game (since no proxies were used), I'll start my personal ranking now.

Games played: 4
Wins: 4
Losses: 0
Draws: 0

Opponents:
VS Cryx: W3 L0 D0
VS Khador: W0 L0 D0
VS Cygnar: W0 L0 D0
VS Menoth: W0 L0 D0
VS Mercenaries: W1 L0 D0

Armies played:
Khador: W3 L0 D0
Mercenaries: W1 L0 D0
Cryx: W0 L0 D0
Cygnar: W0 L0 D0
Menoth: W0 L0 D0

+++

The Art of War, Week 50

Drifting Between Light And Darkness, Fourth Drift

vomit (v.) To eject part or all of the contents of the stomach through the mouth, usually in a series of involuntary spasmic movements.

I went home yesterday at around 9am, watched some TV and did some hobbycraft. I planned to go back to work around 6pm. But as it happened, I drifted into sleep and woke up at 9pm! My head felt like mush and all I had to eat the entire day was a tall can of Ketchup-flavored Pringles and a half-bottle of Sprite. I decided to take what was left of the day off and continue to rest.

When I woke up this morning, my head hurt even more. I assumed it was due to the hunger caused by missing most of the meals the day before. I went out, had a meal at Jollibee at Welcome Rotonda. Remembering last year's adventure buying the office exchange gift, I decided to head on to Cubao and look for a gift. My head was in pain, and the FX ride was no help! Dumbass FX with dumbass AC! I should've taken a jeep!

To make the long story short, I found myself sitting in a grocery at Cubao. I imagine I was pale because I was dizzy and had cold sweat. I also felt my recent Jollibee meal trying to push its way up my throat. After several grueling minutes, I stood up and decided that if the meal wanted out, it's gotta go out. And as luck would have it, there was a pay lounge a few steps from the grocery.

At yung putangenang babae sa pay lounge counter, tangena nakita nya na ngang namumutla sa yung tao at pinipigilang lumabas ang suka sa bibig, e putangenang ambagal-bagal pang ibigay yung lintek na tiket para sa lounge CR! Tangena dapat sinukahan ko na lang yung putres na yun eh!

So I rushed in, shoved the goddamn ticket to the guy at the door, headed for the nearest empty cubicle and hurled. It was fucking horrible! I don't know what caused it but after all the bile and undigested food, my head was cleared of the dizziness but the headache was still there. It's been years since my last vomit (teen years, I think). I don't want this to happen again but I don't know why this had to happen today.

Journal of a Warmachinist, 13th 14th Entry

Bought Catachan Green and Enchanted Blue yesterday at NG Madison. Eiryss is about 90% done. Just a few more work on her crossbow and rapier. Also did some basework on the Behemoth and Kovnik.

Drifting Between Light And Darkness, Third Drift

Still no sleep and I've a Warhammer tournament finals to judge over later! My back hurts and I drift into a snooze when my body stops at rest for at least a minute. And after the tourney, I have to go back to work and update the websites!

I have developed a heavy flash web component for GMA's latest season for StarStruck. Then I have this week to finish the movie microsite for Mulawin the Movie. Daily updates on iGMA.tv, GMA Pinoy TV, and soon updates for QTV and the new News site. Then more microsites down the line.

Well, you've always said that service is a reward in itself.

And I still have to paint my miniatures. At least I hope to get those done before I expire LOL! Social life? What is that? Overtime pay and time differential? I don't understand. "Thank God, it's Friday!" and weekends? What do those words mean?

Journal of a Warmachinist, 13th Entry

I managed to put some assembly work into my Behemoth. I was never fond of the raised-right-foot pose of the model, so I did some minor conversion. I took some cork and glued it onto the base, and glued the right foot as if stepping on the cork. Like the Winter Guard Mortar, I'll paint the cork to make it like a big slab of rock. I didn't put too much basework on the Behemoth because I wanted the model to be stable when it stood. I'll just make extra effort into painting it.

After the model assembly, I took some time to prime the Eiryss model I had on my workbench. I used the bottled GW Smelly Primer and handbrushed it onto the model, making sure the details were not obscured. I also primed the Behemoth afterwards.

The reposed MOW Kovnik still lacked a standard. I was playing around with plasticard but decided to go for a glue-formed paper banner for him instead. Maybe when I get back from work.

The Hammer Of War

A lotta things being thrown about on or behind the scenes in the local gaming community? Nothing new to me. Conflict, evidently, is an integral part of the Warhammer hobby. Taking the conflict beyond the small soldiers? Nothing new to me, too.

Whatever anyone does, everyone won't be pleased.

Nurture the conflict, I say. Or turn a deaf ear and blind eye to it. Let the sensible people talk it out and compromise, and let the hotheads have at it in the streets.